Several weeks ago, before schools had even been forced to close because of the Coronavirus, ​I was contemplating what to write as I felt the Spirit of God had been prompting me to do. I was thinking of the things that were happening in the world in general at the time and I realised then that it is indeed a scary time we’re living in. I felt thankful to God though because I believe that He has been opening up my eyes to some things that I need to be aware of. In this way I know how to pray because I understand what we’re up against in these last days.
          But the most poignant thought that came to my mind then was the fact that as children of God we need to know our God. It’s not about position or title or being in the forefront, it’s about fulfilling God’s purpose for each of our lives. I can’t be someone else, God doesn’t expect it and no one else can be me. We need to understand and embrace who we are in Christ. Who does God say that you are? I realize that for several months even a few years I have been literally declaring each day what God says about me. I am blessed, I am redeemed, I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, etc. But maybe I have simply been reciting what He says about me. Do I really believe it? Am I actually living it? I’m afraid I will have to say “no” to both questions. It started being about knowing and declaring who I am in Christ but I’m afraid my declarations have become nothing more than mere recitations of who I hope I am not who I believe and know I am. 
          Someone said something to me some time ago that resonated in my spirit when I heard it. She said that I am the answer. No, she doesn’t mean that I am a god or that I am greater than God. You see, Christ is living in me and He is the true answer that the world needs. But I am representing Him, therefore I have so much more to offer the world because of Him. It wasn’t a statement that says that I am going to be this or that but it’s a statement of fact that I am the answer. Every child of God is. We need to really understand that God has deposited so much in us and that we have the answer that the world needs. That statement made me actually feel bolder, more confident, as I understood who I am in Christ from a different perspective.
          As I contemplated all of this I thought of David. He was described as a man after God’s own heart. David, I believe, knew who he was. Even though his family may not have treated him as important, after all when the prophet Samuel came to anoint a king from among Jesse’s sons, David wasn’t even initially invited to the event. He was left in the field to tend the sheep (1 Samuel 16:2-11). No one expected him to be important enough to be there. Yet, He was the one God wanted and had chosen. David had developed an intimate relationship with God while doing his job as a shepherd. He watched how God helped him defeat a lion and a bear as he defended his sheep. He knew the God he was serving. So, you can imagine, when he went to deliver some food to his brothers on the battlefield and found out about Goliath how incensed he became that this “uncircumcised Philistine” could be so bold as to defy the army of God. He probably even wondered why the Israelite army was so scared when they had God on their side. But he wasn’t scared. David knew his God. He knew what his God could and would do and he knew who he was in God. He didn’t see himself as incapable of defeating this giant. Even when king Saul’s armor was too big for him, almost as if to prove his incompetence in defeating the enemy, he wasn’t deterred. He knew his God and he knew who he was in Him and he understood that God didn’t expect him to be someone else; He didn’t expect him to be king Saul or one of the other experienced soldiers. God expected him to be himself and use the weapons he knew to use – five smooth stones (1 Samuel 17:1-50).
          So, let’s put this into perspective. Who does God say that you are? What is God saying about you? What does God expect of you? And better yet, what has God deposited in you? You may not see yourself as important, but you are. Others, even those who claim to know you well, may not see you as important, but you are. As I said earlier, don’t try to be anyone else but yourself. Use what God has given you. Use the tools that God has deposited in you because whatever comes your way, God has already equipped you to handle it. 

            I recently watched the movie, “One night with the king,” the story of queen Esther in the Bible. It was not the first time I had watched this movie but I enjoyed it just as much as if I was seeing it for the first time. As much as I love the storyline and the “happy ending” that seems to be portrayed, I can’t help but consider that this young Jewish girl, before her "happy ending" even came about, had her world turned upside down.
            First, she was ripped away from the comfort of her home and sent with many other young maidens to the palace where they would all be prepared to possibly become the new queen. They all, I’m sure, had their own plans and hopes for their future but all these were dashed as they were “kidnapped” and taken to the palace. Hopes of pursuing their personal goals and dreams all came to an end for, even if they were not chosen by the king to be his new queen, they would not get to return home but would become one of the king’s concubines. 
            However, the favour of God was upon Esther and she was chosen to be the new queen. She would now live a life of relative luxury and ease … or would she? The story does not end here on this fairytale, happy note. You see, with God there is always a bigger picture. We can presume that everyone had their own plans, goals and dreams that they wanted to pursue, especially Esther. Everyone had a picture of their possible future in their minds. But God had a purpose for everything that happened, especially the negative ones. What Esther and the Jews did not know was that there was a plot in the making to annihilate them. God therefore orchestrated everything to bring about His people’s deliverance. With a Jew as queen, she could go on to petition the king for the lives of her people. Yes, with God there is always a bigger picture.
            We can parallel this story with our situation today. One of the thoughts that comes most poignantly to my mind is the fact that just about everyone had plans, goals or dreams for this year 2020. But all of a sudden with the appearance of one virus, some of us are not even sure if our dreams and plans would be realized and, if they are, we are not sure when they would become a reality because the dates and times we had set don’t seem so realistic anymore.
              I’m reminded of the verse in Proverbs 19:21 which says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (New International Version) This pandemic has made me realize that we can plan how much we want but God has the final say. Our plans and dreams in and of themselves may not be bad, but as I said before, with God there is always a bigger picture. There are bigger, greater things He wants to accomplish and sometimes we just have to put aside our dreams, even if for a moment, for a greater purpose. 
            Let’s be real, there are persons who need to get saved and this global pandemic may be just the thing to motivate them in that direction; there are those who have backslidden away from God and this situation may be what is needed to get them back on the right track with their heavenly Father; there are married couples and families that may need this time of restriction and confinement to finally start spending quality time together and thus strengthen the family unit; and maybe sadly, we as the church have lost our focus and God has had to use this to help us refocus on Him and His desires for us.
            God has never made a bad choice in His life. He sees and knows all things and He does care. So, maybe besides the normal prayers asking God to heal and to bring this season to an end as quickly as possible, let’s add another prayer to that: “God what are you saying to me in this season? What do You want me to do for You?” And when you add praise and thanksgiving to that what you’re really saying is: “God I don’t understand or like what is happening, but I trust You. I trust that You see, You know, You care and that You are working out what is best for me as well as  everyone else.”