He will never abandon you...

          Morgan suffered from anxiety attacks for a number of years. Her first attack happened a few weeks after stepping into the role of children’s pastor at her church. She was visiting family and friends for Thanksgiving and while at the gym there, she felt as if she was losing control and even her vision became blurred. The doctor told her that it was an anxiety attack. 
         Over the next two years, the attacks worsened, and on top of that, depression stepped in. She struggled with negative thoughts and was afraid to tell anyone, including her husband and family, what she was going through. She was afraid that they would think that she was crazy. 
         The battle in her mind became so bad, she barely wanted to get out of bed or take care of her family, she was not eating and even lost around thirty pounds. She did not even feel much like a pastor yet, amazingly, she continued to go to church and function in the role she had been placed in. God seemed so far away. Finally, one day, she decided she had had enough. While in the bathroom, she knelt on the floor and with her razor in hand attempted to end her life. She was honest with God. She told Him that if He didn’t step in to help her, she would end her life. Even today, as she tells her story, she remembers the feel of the razor against her skin. As she felt it, however, she also felt a warm feeling, as if someone was giving her a bear hug from behind. She realized it was God letting her know He had not left her. Immediately, the razor fell to the floor. After this episode, she felt the need to open up to her husband and others and she found the support and love she needed. God gave her the will to fight and not give up. Over a period of time, she has learned to deal with the negative thoughts, taking them captive and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). On top of that, in a dream, God assured her that she had won the victory over the enemy. She was indeed free!
         A few things come to mind. For one thing, she was isolated. She was afraid to tell anyone what she was going through, because she was afraid of their response, of possible rejection because, after all, she was in a pastoral position and she was supposed to have it all together. The reality is, the devil loves to make us think that we are alone in our situation, that no one would understand, that we would be rejected and disappoint people if they only knew what we are going through. But, that is a lie. We are never alone. God has promised never to leave us or abandon us and there are always others who can relate to what we are going through, who may even be able to counsel and pray us through. God knows exactly how to guide us to the right people who can help.
         The prophet, Elijah, in the Old Testament faced a similar sense of isolation and desolation. Queen Jezebel had just threatened to kill him and he ran for his life, believing that the children of Israel had forsaken their God and that there was no other prophet in Israel left but him (1 Kings 19:10). That was not true. He was not alone. In the quietness of a cave, the Lord’s still small voice reassured him that he was not alone and that there were still those in Israel who had not forsaken their covenant with God (1 Kings 19:12-18). 
          Elijah heard a still small voice, Morgan felt God’s presence in the form of a bear hug, hugging her and reassuring her that He was there and had not left or abandoned her. So many times, because we can’t hear or see how God is moving, we get discouraged and afraid and just want to give up. God hasn’t and does not give up on us.
          Another thing, she reached the point where she wanted to end it all. She felt that her family would be better without her. That was a lie from the devil too. So many times, we too, want to give up. The situation seems so much bigger than us, so much scarier, so impossible that all we see is the challenge and it blocks out our ability to see our God ... if we let it. From the time God changed her perspective, she was motivated to keep fighting and to not give up. Sometimes, we too have to change our perspective. If our focus is on the situation, yes, it will always look bigger, more powerful than we are and all we will see is how impossible it is to overcome. Yet, when we give it to the One who is able to fight and win on our behalf, the responsibility is not on our shoulders anymore to fight and win but on God’s.         
          God has been teaching me this in recent times. Whenever something is too much for me, I would hear Him say: “Give it to me.” You see, He knows that I can’t handle it. It’s not even my job to stress over it trying to figure it out. He is right there to take every burden, every stress and whenever I give it to Him – and sometimes it’s hard to release it – I feel relieved and He always comes through for me. So, I encourage you today, no matter how big or how impossible the situation may be, it will never be bigger or more powerful than God. He can handle it. Just give it to Him. If you find it difficult to let it go, be honest with Him and ask for His help and He will not let you down. Just a reminder, God has not given up on you ... don’t give up on Him!
          If you have not accepted Jesus Christ into your life as your personal Lord and Saviour, I encourage you to do so now. God has promised to be always there for His children. No matter what we are going through, we are never alone, and we always have help right when we need it.

---